I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
