someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Gay?
German.
Pity.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
