So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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