Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
