# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
