I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
