I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Randomize
