is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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