Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
