I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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