went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
