I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
