now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
