I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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