wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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