Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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