@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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