Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
