I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
