I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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