So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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