i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
