Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
