Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
