i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize