Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize