exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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