you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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