so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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