I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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