never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I had to cum in my sink.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
