It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
