He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
