ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
