New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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