24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
