Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
