i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
We got so high we made milksteak
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just invented taco cereal.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm really busy with my period
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