Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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