Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
