i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
