just tell him i said nine months
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize