had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
