my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
