last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Every concussion has its silver lining
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
