i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
