Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
If that was your dad, he is hot
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
