i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
