Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
