As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
