My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
