i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
