he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
we're making bets on your personal life
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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