Porn is love you can see.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
