So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I want to fling myself into the sun
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
