My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
