he looks like a really good dad on facebook
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
