It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize