he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Tornado booty call.. dedication
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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