the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
