how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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