Ambien. No doubt about it.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize