he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
