i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
