Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
