And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
