ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize