Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
