I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
