don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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