That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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