I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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