If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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