Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
