pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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