I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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