I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I have feelings that need drinking.
Randomize
