at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
