her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
