just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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