i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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