so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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