The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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