My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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