I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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