Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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