you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
