First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
What drink are we having for lunch?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
