A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
North Korea, Best Korea!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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